Mum or Dad? & A radical way of life.

My two year old insists on walking everywhere. Even when I'm running late, I often let him. It is inconvenient, takes twice the time, sometimes dangerous near busy road, but I pray for patience and off we go.

But I also have to deal with some of the older children's desires:

sometime they say that the church is boring' or 'I'm not going today.' I never allow them to have their way on this one.

At the moment, our family is strictly divided into distinct traditional roles where husband goes to work and a wife looks after the children at home. I believe a child should never must choose between mum or dad in any family. Ever.

'Let earth and heaven combine, angels and men agree,

To praise in songs divine the incarnate Deity,

Our God contracted to a span, incomprehensibly made Man.'

                                                                                                            

This hymn contains both, the secret for successful family as well as success in general. First of all, there is got to be an order in high heavens: God rules and everyone else submits to Him. Makes sense if you believe in God of course. His creation must be subject to Him. If a family, an institution set up by God, with Adam & Eve the first pioneers, there must be also His order. The Scriptures tells us that Adam has been created first, and Eve after to be his boss, oops, 'helpmate'. Don't we, women married or not, rather often feel tempted to boss men around? While some men fight it off with all might and others laugh it off, which does it concern/affect the most? I would answer: God. To Him alone we will give an account for our life in this body. Even an earthly general demands his orders to be kept, why not the Chief General of heaven and earth? Adam, and so all men following after, take a role of the Head. Not because he is more important, but because how on earth it could be decided who is the head if both Adam and Eve want to be one? I'm saddened to hear from other women: 'I'm an elder in our church. What are you doing in yours?' In translation this means: 'I'm rebellious to God's order of things, how about you?' This comes from a regular committed churchgoer. Personally, I have children to bring up, this is huge and plenty if I wish to give it my best. If I'm an elder and my husband is also, who is really going to invest in our children?  

Not only order of creation confirms who should be the head, not only plentiful Scripture passages do so, but our very frame shows that a woman is a weaker vessel and a man must deal with her delicately. Why a weak vessel want to be a leader of men?! That is a good question. Why there is such a confusion about this issue when the Bible is so clear on the issue? 'For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.
1 Timothy 2:13-15 ESV. In my mind, the answer is extremely simple to understand: it is impossible to obey and please God without daily help of the Holy Spirit for a believer, without investing in relationships regularly and praying together as a couple: there is no better glue in marriage than prayer. Convinced.

Deity became also a man. That is a thought to think about, eternity is not long enough! Only imagine Jesus turns around to God the Father and says: 'What are you saying I have to do? Go down to earth (highly contaminated planet, something terribly went wrong after it has been created in utter perfection) and humiliate myself? You must be out of your mind! Don't they deserve to be eliminated as highly contaminated hopeless dysfunctional species?!! Not me, not a chance in the whole of eternity.'

Well, our Savoir did not say it. Phew! We are grateful to Him for that. We love Him very much, but when it is our moment to be in a spotlight to demonstrate humility, we sing a solo: 'I have enough, I put up with this nonsense long enough. I'm not here to suffer, but enjoy life, 'you only have one life'. I'm out of this marriage and you watch me!' While the unholy choir of fallen 'friends' echo: 'Honey, you don't have to take it. You have been through hell... Go, go, go.'  And the whole world applauding loudly while the Bible makes no influence here, incarnation makes no sense, and Christ is back in the manger, not in the very core of the heart. 'Oh, this is too harsh. You don't know my circumstances. You can't understand it. Enough is enough.' Really, that is exactly what Jesus had said on the cross: 'Enough, you fools, I will never ever forgive you and you all should be cast off forever!' Are we reading the same Bible? I know that we can't understand all circumstances and not everything is black and white in the conflict, but the Bible was written for all circumstances and it is either true or not. I believe even as long as one person in marriage is willing to honour God and to do what is right according to the Scripture, things have more chance to work out. I hear stories when a wife prayed for her husband who had run away with a lover for one whole year. He came home repentant. You wish to hear such stories more often!

 Most men who were greatly used by God had a submissive, self-denied, humble, helpful, agreeable in spirit women behind them. Interesting fact is not all of those men were necessarily easy, loving, romantic or providers. I've read about such women, a first American missionary come to mind, Ann Judson, as a perfect example outside of the Bible or Susanna Wesley, another classic example.  I know some of such women personally.

Similar story is with the children. While parents have to be kind and patient with them, if one of them says he 'doesn't want to go to church or Bible is boring', do we let him take our place to decide? Oh my! 'Don't touch the cooker what ever you do. And be careful how you use computer!' I didn't think so.        

Children actually appreciate when they are disciplined because it tells them you care for them and love them. 

                               
 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child,

but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.

                                       Proverbs 22:15 

The ants are a people not strong, yet they provide their food in the summer...

Consider for a moment Kate Middleton's parents. They were as 'ants' working away in a company called 'Party Pieces', over time this had opened up an opportunity of a lifetime. Can you imagine Royal family for your relatives? They did not know the future and where it might lead them. 'Extraordinary' as a maid from 'Lark rise to Candleford' say!

We, as Christian parents, will have a higher responsibility to present our children one glorious day before the Royal throne of God. What a privilege, but that involves a lot of prior work and many prayers. Guess what? The Lord does not ask us to do it alone, He is right there besides us. The Holy Spirit offers all these to be ours, daily, without a charge or a privileged position in life: love, joy, peace, patience, self-control... those are super agents who can do anything for you when you invite them along! Of course, we can do it ourselves; we could bring our children according to our own wisdom. A story of a lady that I know comes to mind. When she was a little girl, her mother who was a schoolteacher, made her practice piano three hours per day. All she did after school was playing piano. Later in life she was able to play any piece by Chopin, her particular favourite, but developed a serious mental illness. It had been confirmed now that it is extremely important to have contact with dirt. People who suffer with depression are advised to go and dig in the garden, touching the dirt with their bare hands. Once I visited her in the mental clinic, it was one of the most horrific experiences to endure. Seeing someone so confused about everything in life was just tragic. Well, her mother had her way, no wonder this lady has little contact with her now.        

Last week has been difficult. A few of my children were ill. While I had to lie down with two youngest, my 9 year old could not sleep due to bad cough. He came in to our bed and was waiting for me there. My husband was sound asleep next to him while he was loudly coughing. The minute I was free, I came and gave him honey, medicine, anything to stop the cough. But when my son wants to go to indoor skate park and it involves driving 3 hours there and back in a single evening, I can't do it. Thank goodness he has both parents who have different, but vital for the welfare of the family abilities. While this is silly enough illustration, I think it gives a little insight in what I mean.

Both parents have constantly live on the boat of humility, no question about it. Otherwise entire family will suffer. And the children are watching and taking everything in. My two year old has extended vocabulary - he repeats everything he hears at home. How much more they copy adult's behavior  It is your choice now what they will copy and how they will be presented at the royal court of heaven. There is no small thing when it comes to sacrifice in order to please our King and Lord Jesus. And God's help is present and sufficient for all otherwise the Bible could not say:   

          
But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you...
          So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this LIGHT MOMENTARY AFFLICTION is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
                                                             2 Corinthians 4:7-18
 Wow! When a friend was reading this to me the other day, I was thinking: 'So true, this past year has not been easy for me. It has been hard, but the Lord remained faithful to His word and in my life.' Pastor John Piper sums it all up: 'When we suffer, but don’t deny Christ, the world sees the Saviour.'
                

                    To Everyone: have a blessed from above Christmas!!!

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Prosperity&Vans&Your legacy.

Skateboarding competition in Shoreham, UK 2012.

God said to Solomon, “ I give you a wise and discerning mind, so that none like you has been before you and none like you shall arise after you. I give you also what you have not asked, both riches and honor, so that no other king shall compare with you, all your days. And if you will walk in my ways, keeping my statutes and my commandments, as your father David walked, then I will lengthen your days.”

                                                     1 Kings 3:10-14 

A determined athlete herself, my mum used to say as long as I remember: 'Do exercises, muscles have memory. This is the best thing you can do for your body.' Exactly right. I'm so grateful to her for that. It appears that King Solomon's parents, both believers in one and true God, installed a vital quality in him:' Delight in the Lord and live!' Little wonder they knew the price of sin after so much pain and suffering that they both had endured by putting their own desires first.  I believe there is a lesson of great depth in that for contemporary believers. No one can discard the Bible saying that it is an ancient book, no longer relevant today. Can't be further from the truth! Someone had said:' Sin will keep you longer than you want to stay & cost you more than you are prepared to pay!' This saying could have easily come from the lips of King David& Bashsheba.

In order to be good at skate boarding these qualities are needed: good balance, courage, dexterity & a high threshold of pain.

Those are crucial qualities & without their presence it will be a waste of time if someone wants to be really good at it. Often such qualities come in your gene. We only have to look at famous skateboarders around the world to be sure of that. The same is true for musicians: consider Mozart, Bach or Chopin. Solomon had inherited a lot of godly qualities from his father, a man after God'heart, perhaps not in his gene, but through the legacy that David built to pass on: he thrived to please God and when he failed, he made it right. (At times God had to speak really loud through the prophet, but compare to other wicked kings that Jewish people had, David stands out) Having such a great advantageous start in life, the Lord enabled Solomon to pray according to His will. Not surprisingly that blessings had followed. What is interesting in this verse is God's promise 'to lengthen his days.' 

A friend of mine, who is double my age, inevitably comes to mind. He had  'the qualities that a potentially good skateboarder would have' naturally, but he also gave his life to the Lord. Now, almost 80 years old he prospers in everything that he does for the Lord, giving Him all the glory. Anywhere he goes he makes Jesus known: among high officials or waitresses; his deep love for the Lord is simply contagious. A true Christian must desire to leave a contagious legacy even after he/she is long gone. Listening to his stories, hanging out just for an hour with him makes you spiritually recharged and    massively encouraged somehow.  While diagnosed with cancer, he was at the doctor's office for a check up. A doctor looked at him and said:' You are a lucky man to be alive.' My friend who has been not ashamed of Jesus for almost half a century turned around and said:' 'Lucky' isn't in my vocabulary. Everything I have has been given to me by God.'  That kind of faith and confidence in God no matter what is a real prosperity. When someone insists that you must be rich, famous and healthy to prosper, they've missed the essence of Christianity. 

Fascinating how today a lot of young men are seeking riches, cool looks (half naked on the stage), lottery and loud music with shallow lyrics: girls like them for it! I can see how secular culture influences my children. That's why knowing that Solomon didn't become godly over night, I try to use every opportunity to shape my children's heart, brain and soul, to help them form a character of integrity. When I feel really tired, I push myself to read them a Bible story, have a chat about things, and ask them about their day. Most parents want their children to excel academically, develop their talents which is perfectly justifiable, but where does building up character comes in? This is the core of a person, but the hardest area to build. And I think one child is just as hard as 5 or more to bring up right. John MacArthur in his book on parenting points out that a parent has to deal with a child's attitude because that's where it all starts, before forming into an action. I can't tell enough how grateful I'm for this insight. Saved me a lot of grief.

There are many parents who think they are doing a splendid job raising their children. They are content to exclude God from their lives though. When things go wrong later in life, they wonder surprised: 'Why?' The Scripture strongly warns even a believer: 'Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.' 1 Peter 5:8. By excluding God there is no chance of escaping the powerful paws of Satan. It is rather presuming to assume that we, as humans, could stand up to Satan on our own strength. Let's not be fooled, he has been deceiving for thousands of years; he is terribly good at it. He is a supernatural being, one of the finest that God ever created before the fall and exceedingly more powerful than any man. That's why there is a Delilah in even every Samson's life. Especially  'Samsons' must watch out because Satan loves to defeat those who fight the most, before he takes down anyone else. 

I've tried to invite a young man from Skate Park to our church Youth Group. He seemed to be so busy: every day he was doing something after school. Another thing that caught my attention was that while he was on his own he was willing to listen, but once all his mates came over, he was embarrassed. He is very popular and physically able boy, one of the best in the park. This image already started to cost him because he is not confident in his choices - if others approve he is o'k, if not, he is embarrassed. He just joined High School, so what can I say about his character?  I felt I could do nothing, but just to leave him alone.

Believers know that God will protect them, but Satan doesn't easily give up. If he can't destroy a believer ultimately, he will try to vex his/hers walk with the Lord. Often it is too easy because sinful humans are self- destructive: they tend to dig their heels and often exclude God from major decision making points or possibly let God in, but on their own terms.     

The knowledge that there are 50 million abortions every year around the glob, says that not many 'Solomon' are walking around. Yes, we must remember how King Solomon got involved with too many foreign women and they turned his heart away from the Lord. That's also a good lesson to learn from. Our relationships with the Lord must be fresh and vital,  like manna - daily. After the Lord brings multiple blessings in our lives, it is important to remember the source. This is a picture of modern England. The country was so blessed in the past by the Lord, with outstanding men and women of God, but today the new generation prefers the gifts rather than the Giver.         

It is shocking to watch Youtube videos of multitudes of gullible people who flock to the prosperity churches in huge numbers. Do they ever read these portions of the Scriptures? They are hoping that God will make them rich, prosperous and healthy. The Scripture above is so clear: 'I give you also what you have not asked..' Solomon has not asked for riches.  I remember at one point one of my son's used to say: 'When I grow up I will be a bank manager.' In his little mind he connected two things together: surely bank managers make a lot of money! Well, it is o.k. to think like that when you are growing up, but hopefully you will grow out of it. Some never do, sadly.

When someone desires sincere wisdom, discernment, integrity in his/her life, it is not because of the desire to be great, but primarily because everyone around will be blessed. Outstanding skills are used for the benefit of others. How much more the Lord can use them when they are submitted to His will?  Before my husband became a Christian he was travelling the world to pursue his selfish ambitions. Now this ability turned into a blessing for so many.

A friend that I had mentioned often says:' The Lord had told me...' To have this intimacy with the Lord takes many hours spent in His presence. How can this precious bond between you and the Lord be replaced with anything that the world can offer? The reason why people pursue the world is because they have no idea how surprisingly pleasant it is to belong to the Lord. The Bible says: 'Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!' Psalm 34:8.

All males in our family are crazy about Vans. They don't one pair, but several. Since I do not skateboard, I didn't think too much about vans shoes. I've never owned a pair. At last I was given one by my generous husband. They probably are the only pair that I put on and walked out comfortably. A vivid memory from my childhood pops up about my mum pouring a glass of vodka into her new high heels to stretch and soften them.

This illustration is also true concerning the Lord. Father&Son&Holy Spirit desire to reveal that they are ultimately the best thing in this life. Triune God is the only one who can make anyone walk victoriously in good old age. 

But let all who take refuge in God rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love Your name may exult in You.

For you bless the righteous, O LORD; you cover him with favour as with a shield.

                                                      Psalm 5:11-12

Revolutionary Tips for a Modern Woman&Relationships where God's Grace is the Universal glue.

'She was standing at the street lights, ready to cross the road, making sure her hair still looked lustrous and pleasing. The dress colour today was black: jacket, sweater, tights, and boots, what an eye of a stranger could see. No skirt.'  This can be assumed to be a descriptive from a novel. In truth, this was my morning observation of a Modern Woman. I could not help, but noticed that the skirts and even hot pans already not in high fashion. It is amazing how from past centuries a woman's dress had evolve at last: no dress, really. We can never assume that God had used evolution to create this world, too many inconsistencies present, but that is a different topic. While vogue changes back and forth, there are certain things that remain; a Woman's heart is just the same, desperate to be loved, appreciated, needed. So let's talk not only about fashion, but about what really matters.

I was in Psalm 20 for my Devotions, here some of the verses:

May the LORD answer you in the day of trouble!

May he grant you your heart's desire

 and fulfill all your plans!..

 He will answer him from his holy heaven

 with the saving might of his right hand.

 Some trust in chariots and some in horses,

 but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.

 They collapse and fall,

 but we rise and stand upright...

 My observation made me to come up with my own verse:

'Some trust in naked legs, fashion, advise of a friend or a young age,

 A woman displays herself as on a cabaret stage,

Will she be in old age honoured, respected or joyful

Will she leave a legacy for the youthful to follow her?'  

Let me explain what I mean. While I would like to talk about many things that concern women, it must be very generic since everybody's circumstances are very unique and different from each other. But it is a good thing for us women to chat about these issues and get armed the best way they can. I do it by relying on the Lord's guidance and His infinite wisdom, for others, who don't know the Lord yet; it is just plain common sense to start with. What is interesting no matter how hard we women, including Christian one's, try at times to exclude God from our circumstances, it can't be helped, but everything revolves around Him. It is up to us thought to willingly bring Him in or distance ourselves even further.

Now when we live a smaller town, people are, more open about things, they have time to be friendly which is hard to imagine living in a big city. In one single day I've heard both of these stories from strangers.

One of the mothers's told me her war story. She was married to a man with whom they had five children. One day, he packed his bags in front of the four children, while his wife with a bump number five and face full of astonishment had watched him too. Not thinking that explaining was due, he walked out on them to a life of 'freedom and no more responsibility.' Oh yes, they were moving houses at the time. She often mentions how difficult it is for her to manage all these growing children. To her knowledge he has dumped two more women since, not getting their divorce papers yet. Why any Woman would desire such a man? Apparently he could be charm itself. This tells me that while a Woman worries about fashion things (a lady with a new born is willing to drive to another city to get her nails done!), her abilities to access another human are raw and naive. If any of those following women had done a background check on this man, his charm could disappear as a vapour. I'm convinced.

Later on in a day, when I was at the 'Mother & toddler group', one of the grandma's was sharing with me about her daughter. 'Yes, my daughter and her husband knew each other from school. They went through University together. Got married. Had two children and he cheated on her after she had the second baby. When the family broke down, I had both boys all the time. It was dreadful.'

Even though God created Woman ultimately a powerful being with such soft skin, beautiful shape, unmistakable aroma about her, gorgeous hair, sharp brain, she lacks wisdom at times, because it wasn't part of the package. It has to be obtained from the Lord. (I take bee pollen when I can. It is one of the most complete food on the planet, especially beneficial for women. The body doesn't produce it, flowers do.) We only could remember Eve or Sarah to get a visual picture. Both of them had such power over some of the most powerful men, Adam and Abraham who did exactly what these women asked them to. Because of lack of wisdom and patience from the Lord tremendous consequences followed for the rest of humanity. Eve asked Adam to eat from the forbidden fruit, while Sarah asked her husband to lie with their servant girl. So is the actions of a Modern Woman are significant today, whatever she does, whatever she says.

Today a Modern Woman often feels that she has to expose everything she posses to-trap- any- man- who- comes- around- quick scenario. No expectations, no ideals, no character - just claim your own! (Tom Cruise comes to mind. That man is probably is the highest paid actor on the planet earth. He appears so desirable to any woman, but if she knows that he intends on leaving double D&D 'divorced & devastated', is he worth it?) Once a Woman got her man in her grip, she starts complaining: you are not worth anything, you don't know me, you can't possibly understand me, you don't value me, why do you attend a church of Scientology? Often it is rightly true because a Woman does not consult God or time or even their parents when choosing the husband. Jane Austine's 'Pride and Prejudice' comes to mind where Lydia boasts to her sisters: 'If we all went to Brighton, I could of find you each a husband.' And wisely Lizzie replies: 'I don't like your way of getting a husband.' Poor Lydia wasn't even aware that she nearly missed the marriage all together.  

When we bake a cake, it is best to use the recipe. The problem I had, I wanted to invent a healthier version. So I thought if I put a lot of blended pineapple and raspberries, I would be able to enjoy a good cake and antioxidants as the same time. Bingo! I didn't follow a proven recipe, so my cake was flat as a pancake! Naturally I was disappointed and wasted time, money and effort while my family had to go without home made healthy cakes at the time. Oh, my eggs from the farm, or my precious honey, or my raspberries… So frustrating.

So the same is true with the marriage. A Woman wishes to get married. She has to follow a God established recipe using wisdom, relying on God's timing and choice of man. It will never go wrong, but when it appears that something has gone wrong, woman always could go back and remember that it was a God thing and what God does is always perfect. Falling back on the truth could revive not only memory, but dead relationships just as much. Didn't God brought to life Lazarus who was dead for nearly four days? Jesus was their close friend, but even this family could hardly believe. No wonder we often don't believe ourselves it is possible. The reality is success will be guaranteed whether 'she marries or not, when a woman follows the Lord.'

The best way would be 'to cover yourself in every aspect with much heavenly wisdom' in order to make a man have a desire to get to know you, to make an effort, to sweat a bit.  He has to make an effort and if he doesn't, he probably won't make any effort after the marriage. Who ever appreciated a diamond that doesn't cost anything?  Modern girls expose themselves by saying: there is nothing mysterious about me, there is nothing unique, don't look for depth, it wont cost you anything to lure me in your arms, ect. A good advise would be here to declutter her thinking wardrobe by asking yourself: 'Will I seem hard as a diamond to get in this outfit/actions?' Such a response is possible after profound impression of the Holy Spirit upon Woman's heart. Your immediate response could be: 'This way I will never get married. Oh, you will, you will.' To a good- Godly- faithful man! After all God isn't a liar: 'He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?   Romans 8:32. 

Of course, if it is according to His will, but who wants it otherwise? 

Many women today are trying to have a baby from a man they are with, thinking it will somehow glue them together forever. In truth, the only glue that there is in this Universe that binds together, is God's unmerited Grace. Children are not to be experimented with; they need to be in a safe environment with both mum and dad. All most significant people, including women committed terrible mistakes at some point or the other, but God brought them through because they relied on Him in the end. 

All relationships that we have as humans are only successful when 'each person thinks less about himself, more about others for start.' This is impossible without unconditional love of God in our hearts. And even then we must pray daily for refill. If we exclude God, the main ingredient from our cake- baking-marriage-any-relationships-making experience, expect it to go wrong. Family that involves so many people is far more complex structure than a mere cake!

Once Adam and Eve had left the Paradise, they no longer understood and related to each other Perfectly. Just as God intervened with their coverings, He will have to do so to the rest of their lives. Eve didn't not have a faintest idea that she will bear the son, the first ever murderer. They had never experienced death before. Neither did she know how to handle it. The same is true for us. Our life is a mystery, the future is veiled and only God know how to fight Satan off, how to prepare us to enter unknown future and all the bumps in the road ahead. We need his Grace and His presence daily. Just like it was in the Paradise days.  

Sugar, Sin & Self-sufficiency.

'This Jesus is the stone that was rejected by you, the builders, which has become the cornerstone. And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.'

Acts 4:11-12

This mince pie is recognized as world's most expensive and  has been made with the most delicate ingredients. Wouldn't be wonderful to see the Day when this world recognizes how lovely and special Jesus really is, the author and finisher of life. 

After being away for a few days in Sussex, there are few highlights that I want to share. Funny enough, right before we left, my daughter and I were watching 'Pride and Prejudiced'. As Mrs Bennet exclaimed in frustration:'If only Mr. Bennet took us all to Brighton, this elopement would not happened.' What Mrs. Bennet was not willing to see that intentions go before us. So, in the end it didn't really matter where Lydia went, as her father rightly knew, she would do what she pleased. On the contrary, Mr. Nowak took us all to Brighton, our intention was to have a good time and see all the old friends we can. We had an awesome trip, so here some thoughts on that.

The rain has been busy at night, washing houses, streets, cars, anything that is exposed to it's zeal. Trees looked washed and ready to be examined by the sun. Proud and ready to face the day, Rottingdean, a small coastal village, with narrow old streets, with a Barclays bank and st. Margaret's church that takes roots in 13th century, preached history. Modern cars already busy and awake were racing up and down, while curious visitors were window shopping.This small village is one of those places that gives an appearance of time standing still and welcoming all things new at the same time. Reminds me a beautiful place in California, Arrowhead, a  picturesque mountain village. I believe Thomas Kinkade painted there.

  My mother- in- law was running late for her tennis session. Inviting her youngest grandchildren to come along delayed  a car trip considerably. While she was hitting the ball, children and I were at the playground near by. As I was standing on a modern-state-of-art playground, looking at the surrounding us valley of Rottingdean, amazed how everything around us changes all the time. Except God and His word. Not all see that thought. In my recent discussion  with an atheist, he could not help, but show his frustration that our society spends money on churches and faith schools. In my turn, I must mention that from the dawn of civilization people had a desire to worship a deity. This desire deeply build in like a hard drive in the computer. Even when they  didn't quite  know to whom they need to bow down, they showed creativity, as Athenians did by erecting an alter to an 'Unknown god.' How could someone have so much frustration over what a human race practiced from day one. That's titanium argument!

The playground was right in the middle of tennis court and a football field. I was admiringly watching the youngsters running around under sharp eye of their coach, at the same time impressed by the older generation, still exercising their muscles through tennis. To stay fit, you must get up early and just do it. Muscles won't bulge especially when you are aging. The same is very true about spiritual training. As believers we must open up the word of God to find out what He requires from us. While I've never been to a service in St. Margaret's church, I know it is not a gospel preaching church. In spite of standing there through the centuries, many people from the village still worship a quite distant God. Sinners must be wash by the truth of God's word! This is an essential part for believers if they seek to glorify and obey the Lord.

I had an amazing experience lately. For a year now, because of small children, sometimes I have to listen to the sermon  through the speakers. The sound system in the church was on it's last breath and sometimes the sound just disappeared, sometimes it was faint, often a lot of noise came through at the same time. This has not been a pleasant or helpful experience. However, this past Sunday the sounds was perfect due to the newly purchased sound system. Our life is just the same. We get very little help if we don't hear the word of God that is instructing, encouraging, edifying, building up, cleansing, helpful all around and ect.  

I've finished reading a book by T. Tchividjian 'Jesus+Nothing=Everything'. The  thought that stayed with me was about how the more he studied the gospels, the less he worried about things. That is an intent of God's word to give a believer every confidence that God is for us, that God is in control of absolutely everything, that He will protect and do what is best for us eternally. Often repetition is the best thing:'God is Sovereign. He is in control.' It  could be a good thing to hear it over and over again. My friend whom I visited on this trip, had shared with me about her 'weekend away', where they talked how to handle anxiety and worry. She said she felt rather frustrated  that they repeated again and again the same plain truth. As it was repeated, it started to sink in more. That proved to be rather helpful in the end.  

Once a believer washed regularly by the truth of God's Word even from time to time he/she gets 'dirty' by the world, it is obviously felt. When I don't have sugar regularly and suddenly  it is again in my mouth, it hits the whole body system so strongly. The same is with the pollution of this world. We would feel it just the same and it will revolt us when Holy Spirit works through and in us. We must not forget that it is impossible to live a life of obedience on self-sufficiency. Many women fall into this same old trap. They seek the Lord diligently, but the minute they have children it all goes on a back burner, often without realizing it.  It did happen to me. I could not go to many evening Bible studies anymore or prayer meetings, lacked fellowship, was tired to dig in to the word on my own. The end result was frustration with everything and everyone since I've tried to live a Christian life on my own resources. It is an impossible reality. Once we realize it, the Lord will make a way for us to obey Him and draw from His spiritual well. I've prayed. Simple, but we forget how powerful and effective this tool is for a Christian. The Lord brought a friend to pray, a Bible study to listen on line, a Bible read out from the internet. Jehovah-Jireh He is indeed! Often many Christians get tempted to have worldly, unbelieving friends. What was interesting, all the friends I went to see were the one's I've made at the church. It felt like we parted yesterday. None of my daughter's friends from her old school wished to see her. That was sad, but such a good confirmation of the things I was teaching her about the Lord and His binding glue between people. Once the Lord bring you a true friend, it is for life.
The day we've left, we thought it would be a good idea to get some exercise and fresh air at the Marina. We walked towards the surfing spot where a few brave enough lads were catching waves in the English Channel. The water looked so cold, but my husband assured me since he spend a lot of time  there himself, that it is not that bad once you get going. What stood out for me was the effort that they were making. It could be life consuming. It could come to the point when everything you do evolves around surfing. It does keep you fit and gives pleasure, but that is all. Life is  just as hostile and hard for anyone who doesn't have protection of the Lord.

Why not commit your life to the Lord and allow Him to consume every area of our life. Because it will be not just for now. It will last for eternity.        

This is world's most expensive wedding cake. Guess what? At the marriage feast of the Lamb, where Jesus invites his friends, they shall eat something that wont be even close to this poor  visible image of a cake!  
Matthew 22:1-14
'But we never can prove

The delights of His love

Until all on the alter we lay;

for the favor He shows,

and the joy He bestows,

are for those who will trust and obey.'

          

A water rat and river pearls.

Queen Barbara Radvilaite with her pearls.

'Coco Chanel was convinced that no fashionable lady could do without pearls. Such attitudes about power jewels reinforce each other, suggesting that they are about equally alluring today, neither one monopolizing all the glamour. Yet, historically, there is no question that pearls have long been far more prestigious. The taste for diamonds coalesced at the court of Versailles just three centuries ago, while pearls, the "Queen of Gems," have been coveted worldwide for millennia. Pearls, ever in vogue among high-status and pedigreed women, will surely continue bewitching them for generations to come.'

Today I'm compelled to wrap up about the fear issue, but the topic is endless because every time after the very minute a God-honoring decision has been made, with much prayer and meditation on God's word, Mr. Fear pays a visit in a company of Ms Doubt. What is interesting, Mr. Fear in no doubt what he wants to do: to spread his influence in every area of a believer's life. Some Christians even struggle with their faith regarding salvation from time to time. By the grace of God I've never hit that place spiritually, so I can't speak much about it. But I know exactly how it feels to be swept by the floods of doubts. The enemy knows well that this path will only lead to God-honoring, satisfying circumstances in life, which he hates so much.Now I have to re-tell the stories from my walk with the Lord to my children in order not to forget how great and personal God is, what a grand adventure life by faith could be. 

It is a joke to explain to an unbeliever what marvelous things God has done in my life. The fact that I experience His presence daily. It is almost the same as trying to explain to a man how to give birth to a baby. My life is one giant quest of faith and God's supernatural interference, which is a task  to explain in mere  words. But will try anyway.

The very first massive promise from God, once I became a believer, was about going to study in the capital of Russia. That was rather ' an ambiguous promise' considering that I had no money left or family residing there to help. God miraculously fulfilled that promise. A promise that followed was about going to the Bible College in CA, USA. I had a huge obstacle, no passport to travel, but once again inexplicably the Lord had provided and opened the door wide.

Another immense promise was about my future husband. The Lord handpicked and showed to me who my husband is going to be. In spite of all obstacles and many doubts believe it or not, God did put us together wiping my fear with His word 'for nothing is impossible with God' Luke 1:37.  So we got married.      

When I look back, I see God of personal miracles all along, so it is not an irrational thing for me to believe other miraculous events that are mentioned in the Bible. On the contrary, I anticipate it.    

In my recent discussion with an atheist, I was challenged about everything I believe about God. I was surprise myself on the affect that it had on me, so I'm taking time to chew over it. This exchange of ideas and personal convictions went back and forth for about three weeks. He raised a lot of challenging questions, but the main thread in all of our conversations was  'there is no evidence for the existence of God' and there is no such thing as a 'Christian scientist' either.  While I had no problem explaining his misconceptions about Christianity, my unwavering faith in all-powerful God who performs miracles, he wasn't able to listen or receive this information. That was truly amazing. His reasoning was:'it makes sense to believe in good of humanity rather than God', 'live for the moment rather than consider eternity.' 'No, the fact that we have morals doesn't point to a moral -Giver, believe because you want to believe, not because there is evidence or Christian scientists discovered anything and ect. Fox News announcement about Noah's Ark being found can't be valid!' Not that I had no evidence or complete lack of knowledge of God. Anything I pointed him to wasn't true for him or good enough! This passage of Scripture comes to mind:    

        About the middle of the feast Jesus went up into the temple and began teaching. The Jews therefore marveled  saying, “How is it that this man has learning, when he has never studied?” So Jesus answered them, “My teaching is not mine, but his who sent me. If anyone's will is to do God's will, he will know whether the teaching is from God or whether I am speaking on my own authority. (John 7:14-17 ESV)

So, did the Jews believe much?  Not at all.    As the Lord graciously suggests in another passage of Scripture it is about time we stop throwing pearls before pigs (Matthew 7:6). It is time to move on and find someone who is open-minded and willing to be challenged I guess…

After being through such an emotional challenge, my rival particularly had deep hatred towards the 'Christian god' who doesn't even exist! Interesting logic.

In the end I had to say: 'I'm speechless.' And that brought the whole discussion to a permanent stop.

An illustration by Jesus from a parable really helped me to cheer up. At first, I was disappointed that this OU student I had discussion with, wasn't even any closer to consider the Lord. But I knew that as long as I'm praying for him Holy Spirit will do His work, I'm not left alone to convince him. The more I thought about it, the more I've realized:'Bingo, the truth is mine to keep!' Jesus explained about the kingdom of heaven comparing it to a pearl of great price. This is mine to keep no matter whether others believe or not, challenge my faith or agree with me. The pearls are staying and their value remains.

A few years ago my mother brought me river pearls from Russia. They are my greatest material possession, but they could be just stolen. The truth once you received it - can't be. Jesus said you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. I had this discussion going via e-mail while talking to a 'Christian friend' by texts. She professed to be a believer, now she was saying that my truth is true for me, but she has her own truth that is true for her. According to this thinking there is no such thing as absolute truth. Wow! That was more that sad for me. I could only ask her: 'Can you be absolutely sure about it?' During our life as a Christian, we will be challenged by both believers and non-believers alike. Because our walk with the Lord is so very different from each other.        

Recently, while waiting for the dentist, I came across an article on Stephen Lawrence. He was an accomplished young man who got killed in Britain about 19 years ago in a racist attack. His mother said that she thought it was something that happened on the TV, not in real life. I don’t think she will ever get over the shock that took her son and consequently broke her home up. Even though she set up a Charity Fund for less fortunate young people and blessed over 100 of them with real help, she would rather have her son back. This is a matter of perspective again - she has no guarantee that she will ever see him again. Ever. So much for the good of humanity! Yet another example that contradicts.

While we as Christians are being ridiculed in today's Britain, we know that our faith is only a start for the thing yet to come, the spiritual reality that is still veiled by the Lord.

Have you ever stayed or lived in a proper castle? I did once. The feeling is incredible. I think Castles only exist for one reason only - to give a taster of what Jesus' mansion will be like with many rooms! Not even a close visual, but at least a weak visual is better than nothing for us so physical and so human beings.  

Considering all that, God with His unfailing promises, why atheist pity us Christians is a big question still. What is so much better that they have to offer? I wish someone gave me a convincing answer yet. Believers know their Maker, Father, Lord, Master, Friend, Comforter, Strong Tower - the list is inexhaustible really personally and this knowledge impossible to fake. You either met the President, or not. Simple as that. We know not of him, but met with him. That's exactly how it works with the Lord.

To end this entry, I would love to quote a passage from one of the oldest books in the Bible, Job. A man who knew His God intimately both is great sorrow and great prosperity. This is what he has to say:

And where is the place of understanding?

Man does not know its worth,

and it is not found in the land of the living.

The deep says, ‘It is not in me,’

and the sea says, ‘It is not with me.’

It cannot be bought for gold,

and silver cannot be weighed as its price.

It cannot be valued in the gold of Ophir,

in precious onyx or sapphire.

Gold and glass cannot equal it,

nor can it be exchanged for jewels of fine gold.

No mention shall be made of coral or of crystal;

the price of wisdom is above pearls.

The topaz of Ethiopia cannot equal it,

no can it be valued in pure gold.

“From where, then, does wisdom come?

And where is the place of understanding?

It is hidden from the eyes of all living

and concealed from the birds of the air.

Abaddon and Death say,

‘We have heard a rumour of it with our ears.’

“God understands the way to it,

and he knows its place.

For he looks to the ends of the earth

and sees everything under the heavens.

When he gave to the wind its weight

and apportioned the waters by measure,

when he made a decree for the rain

and a way for the lightning of the thunder,

then he saw it and declared it;

he established it, and searched it out.

And he said to man,

‘Behold,  the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom,

and to turn away from evil is understanding.’”

After my discussion with a man who preferred to believe in good of humanity, death, no hope of better things to come, great uncertainty about his eternal destination, I felt rather ill in my spirit.  The very same week as we were abut to have lunch at home an old water rat crawled into the garden and was lying right outside of our big dinning room window. We all lost our appetite. She was so miserable and somehow it was so unpleasant even to look at her. We knew that she was still alive, but about to die any moment. A friend who happened to come over for some business finished her off with one blow on the head. Often that all it takes to finish off all the arguments against existence of God if we have the opportunity. But the only question that matters in the end: 'Who's got the pearls?!!' 

GAP: God&autumn& His promises. Surfing on the waves of fear!

I think it is a brilliant idea to write and bless others if you have spare time which is rare in our busy 21 century! When you think about it, it shocking that we have so little spare time with all the technological and domestic progress going for us.

  The splendour of writing is this though: you never know who might read it around the glob and how it might touch them. Modern technology gives the writer immense potential and puts writing in a whole new dimension. So, with such a thought in mind I've embarked on this adventure.

I had a lot of ideas that were waiting to be put on the paper. What had happened in this time in my life? Not much and quite a bit.  We had two more children making it five in total. The Lord had opened up  the  doors for my husband to be involved in spiritually significant  ministry oversees. We had moved from lovely Sussex with its well-known Downs to flat, but friendly Suffolk.  Other mums knowing what is going on in my life  ask me: 'How do you manage five children and everything else?'  My answer always the same: 'How do you train for Olympics?' This doesn't happen over night, does it? A good tip that makes a huge difference is out things into right PERSPECTIVE.

 Once my husband pointed out that he would not be able to do what he does for the Lord is I didn't keep the fire going at home. This thought usually gives me second breath in time of stress or difficulty while he is away. The day will come when the Lord will gather His people from every tribe and nation to spend eternity with Him. Stuart Townend  penned this beautifully:

              With a shout You rose victorious,

               wrestling victory from the grave,

                and ascended into heaven

               leading captives in You wake.

               Now You stand before the Father

                Interceding for You own.

                 From each tribe and tongue and nation           

                 You are leading sinners home.        

  
 The knowledge of that worth every sacrifice and ever tear now. The Lord graciously and patiently builds up a believer DAILY, giving him DESIRE to grow spiritually so that one day he is ready to handle anything graciously sent by God his way…

Here is a good illustration to that:

Autumn had already arrived in Suffolk with its colder mornings and evenings, carrying variety of crops on its shoulders. But as I was pushing a double buggy, not feeling too well with a full-blown headache, a sore throat, extra tired due to my husband being in Tanzania, I felt rather sorry for myself.

 The air first thing in the morning was fresh and crisp, keeping me awake. I've dropped off my two older boys at school. As I was slowly making my way home, in the midst of this feel-not-too-good-at-all situation, suddenly such a pleasant feeling overwhelmed me. The Lord hadn't taken away my tiredness or sickness instantly, but out of compassion, He let me know that I'm in the right place, at the right time. He placed me here Himself. Such awareness was priceless. In that moment, I knew that my hands were full of 'GOOD THINGS' which will bear good fruit in His time.  To receive fullness that came from the hands of God is an amazing experience! There is nothing quite like it. These thoughts gave me new energy and desire to press on. I knew, no matter what might be offered to me instead of my busy-too tired-no freedom scenario, I would not wish to swap! The Lord gives strengths   exactly when you needed it the most, not 'five years in advance.'

Fear could be crippling, paralysing, such a powerful feeling towards unknown stops most brave out of us from receiving greatest blessings from the Lord. It is no wonder that the Lord required from Israelites to leave Egypt first, THEN He parted the sea; He asked the priests to step into the water of Jordan and THEN He had parted it. I had to learn this truth from the Scripture experientially: the Lord wants to see if believers are prepared to part with fear before He enables you and me to face challenges.

Our modern society is obsessed with knowing the future. Masses of people are onto personal star readings, horoscopes, any predictions by anything or anyone about the future, foolishly convinced that they can  do anything about it. Perhaps  in such a way they seek to suppress the giant fear of unknown. A Pharaoh of old, no matter how many start or gods he has consulted, could not do a thing about his own end, no can those  who don't lean on the Lord who had created heavens and the earth or His wisdom. This real God alone has all power over time, space & matter since He had created it. It is true that a lot of people in Western society don't believe that today. It is their right to be wrong. The Bible declares: 'A fool said in his heart that there is no God.' Sadly, this is partly true even for believers. Many of us doubt and fearful. As a mother I do struggle daily with fear over this or that. A friend who came to spend a weekend asked me: 'Do you have doubts/fears?' Of course, I do. The Lord never expects me not to, either. The right question would be: 'What do you do about your fears?' I deal with them, as they were weeds, by pulling them out one by one through prayer. Only then I am able to live victoriously through Christ who strengthens me. If I fail to pool my fears by the roots, I try harder next time, but I don't give up and don't let it mount up. This is our small part in God's big plan for our lives. If we fail to do it regularly, we have no one, but ourselves to blame. 

 The photo above goes back to the times when my husband was a surfer. I am not sure if he would be able to surf so confidently now  not being able to surf for many years! Skills normally demand a daily practice. At first, when you look at it, you might think: 'I would never be able to do that!' Personally, I've tried only once to surf.  And never had a desire to do it again: a massive wave came from behind by knocking me right down while surfboard hit me on the head. After drinking plenty of concentrated salty water, I came up and swam for my life. Fear got a tight grip on my desire to surf! That's o.k.  I am only missing out on intense rush of adrenaline (as my husband describes surfing in a nutshell) while sharks are seeking to get acquainted with me. But I haven't walked away from that experience with nothing to learn.

I've realized that if I want to succeed I must give it another try. I must defeat my fear or it will defeat me, eventually. This is especially applicable in a spiritual sense.

You know how some people like to read joke books. My kids do it all the time. Every time I open the Bible, I could find something so entertaining. I don’t need a joke book. God has the best sense of humour. Say for example, a passage where God had addressed Gideon, while he was hiding from the Philistines, a 'Man of valour'.  How hilarious  is that! God has a great sense of humour and He has a power to make any human a man of valour. I think both are true. His power is constant. Today any one who trusts in Him could have courage to surf the waves of fear in life confidently while standing on God's eternal promises: “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the LORD.

                                 He is like a tree planted by water,

                                     that sends out its roots by the stream,

                                   and does not fear when heat comes,

                                                for its leaves remain green,

                                  and is not anxious in the year of drought,

                                         for it does not cease to bear fruit.”

                                                Jeremiah 17:7-8